so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
