Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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