Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
