i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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