I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
