i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
