idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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