In the future we'll all be gay
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't want my vagina anymore.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
