Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
