But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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