You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
