And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
