So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
