At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
