My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
