What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
