Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
