I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
