Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
