He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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