walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
