just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
