Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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