Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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