did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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