i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
