Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
