Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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