Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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