margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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