I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
