I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Found the puke drawer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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