I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
