Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
