A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
