Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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