I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
