I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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