so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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