D3 body, D1 cock
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
