I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
