fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
