I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
