Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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