Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
