Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
