I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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