Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
