just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
