I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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