My hand turned me down
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
