I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Congratulations! We have a period
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